“I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent—no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.” ~ Seneca, On Providence
With this quote from Seneca, whom I consider to be one of the most influential of the ancient Stoic philosophers, I invite you to take a moment and reflect on the present and the near term future.
Conflict and trust go hand in hand. We have no control over what life dishes up for us. Storms happen, markets shift, people die, and new people come into our lives…relationships change in unexpected ways. The measure of who we are as a leader is often forged in the red hot crucible that is life...it's one of tempering our tendency to react to the unexpected and unwanted with a dash of hubris and humility. It’s the unexpected that throws of off balance that is the invitation to discover what within us we can trust. Without the conflict presented by the unexpected (what we call misfortune) we can’t truly know what we are capable of.
A review of my life to date reveals events that, at the time, felt calamitous. Looked at today, the death of my wife, the loss of a major client, the market collapsing, a divorce, Covid, the untimely death of my brother, being fired from a job I loved were all crucibles that provided me with the opportunity to excel. In the face of each of these events I grew. I discovered more of me that I could count on. More of me that I didn't know was available.
At the end of the day, conflict and trust do go hand in hand. Having developed the awareness of who you are, what your strengths are and what your center is made of, you are equipped to trust that you will know what to do when you don’t know what to do. You’ll have the courage to move and to act knowing that you’ll get it wrong sometimes. But also knowing that you will land on your feet. As Sun Tzu said inThe Art of War, "The successful person has unusual skill at dealing with conflict and ensuring the best outcome for all."
An old mentor of mine suggested something to me years ago that I invite you to take on as a practice with when things don’t go as planned.... "It is what it is. Harvest the good. Forgive all the rest."
To master anything, we must first master ourselves—our emotions, our thoughts, our actions. In times of uncertainty and disorder, self-discipline and self-mastery are not just essential but are your competitive advantage.
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