Ideals in Motion

The Problem Isn't Declining Traffic...

When we think we have a problem with declining traffic - whether it's with customers coming to our stores/websites or people being in our life - most will look in the wrong places for a solution. The question that needs to be asked here is "do I/we matter"?

"Traffic" is the universe's way of giving us the answer to that question.

When people start staying away from us the real problem that needs to be addressed is that they have an "empty" (read less than fulfilling) experience when they are in our presence. How to change this? Begin with these questions:

• Who are you (to your customer or the people in your life)?
• What do you provide?
• Why does that matter"
• Why do you matter?

What these questions lead to is the prospect of designing an experience that matters to others. At the risk of being overly simplistic, what people are fundamentally seeking in life is a GREAT EXPERIENCE OF BEING ALIVE! They buy your products or hang around you as a person hoping to have that experience. When they begin to sense that having a great experience of being alive isn't possible they stop buying, they stop coming.

If you can provide that great experience of being alive traffic will be the least of your worries.

Sustaining Success

Relative to sustaining success over a lifetime I've defined sustainability in previous posts as being about developing the competencies necessary in order to continuously start over. In a chapter I've recently written for a new anthology with Steven Covey, Ken Blanchard and Brian Tracy entitled Discover Your Inner Strength I go into some detail about these core competencies. In this and subsequent posts I want to offer these competencies up for your consideration. Let me know what you think.

One thing that I've experienced to be true is that before I can begin considering what competencies to develop I have to consider my and/or my organization's capacity to develop. Capacity has to do with the breadth and depth of resources I have available such as energy, skills, education, emotional intelligence, and time view to name just a few. It's important to understand that these (and other) resources are the enablers of the core competencies. While I obviously do not need an infinitely deep and broad capacity "pool" I do need some capacity in order to develop. The (not inconsequential) good news is that from wherever I begin, capacity is expanded as I work on developing the sustainability competencies.

The five core competencies necessary for a sustainably successful life are:

1. Self-awareness
2. Courage
3. Discernment
4. Practice
5. Inclusion

In upcoming posts I'll write about each of these competencies one at a time and expand upon it with practical examples of development strategies that are relevant to both individuals and organizations. I look forward to your comments as I open up this dialog.

Why is Leadership Transformational?

In order to answer the question we need to revisit a definition of both leader and leadership that I've mentioned in previous postings. Simply, a leader is someone who causes movement in a system. By definition, this suggests that everyone is a leader because it is literally impossible not to cause some movement when I enter any system. This is important to understand because this definition moves one away from any questioning of "am I a leader?" to the question of "am I effective as a leader?" The activity of leadership is the answer to this question. Leadership effectiveness is about creating coordinated movement that produces the action required to get the result I want. The focus on creating coordinated movement is what makes leadership transformational.

Creating or causing coordinated movement in and with others is a transformational process. It is transformational because it requires of me and of the others a continual reassessment of what is working and what is not working. Transformation is about change - sometimes subtle and sometimes dramatic. It occurs when there is continual reassessment of progress within the context of is it working/not working. That is the magic of the process. Movement stops when the assessment context is one of right/wrong. These are polar opposite positions that invite conflict, rigidity and stagnation. When one party insists on being right there is little room for coordinated movement. By simply assessing within the context of is this working/not working I put myself in the position to lead a change - to transform - myself, the environment, the culture, and just possibly the planet.

The Challenge of Sustainable Success

I just finished working with a group of 63 Chinese business people in Kunming, China. One of the major points of focus during our time together concerned the question of how do we sustain business success in an economic climate such as the one we are experiencing today.

I've addressed this notion of sustainability in earlier postings and think it's worth revisiting. I've come to define sustainable success as the process of developing the capacity to continuously start over. This has significant implications for management and leadership in an organization. The capacity to start over that I reference applies fundamentally to ensuring that the organization's culture is adaptable. Particularly in terms of being able to deliberately and intentionally deal with the disrupting questions of "What do we hold on to"? "What do we let go of"? or "What do we take on"?

Each of these questions will produce jarring change and require great courage. Of course, the meta contextual question that holds all three is "For the sake of what"? are we doing any of this in the first place. This has to be absolutely clear and the answer is never about just making money or surviving.

Company Culture & The Individual's Role

An organization is simply a collection of individuals that are in relationship...with one another, with their jobs, with their expectations, and with themselves. Each individual brings to these varied relationships their own values, dreams, taboos and personalities. Combined, these comprise the organization's culture. In a very literal sense there is no company culture absent the unique individual culture that is each person.

In most organizations people are recruited (onto teams or into the organization) based on what they can do. They are almost always fired for who they are - for the lack of fit between the individual culture they "are" and the culture of the organization they are trying to fit into.

This is important to note for a variety of reasons. "Designing" the organization's culture is an activity leaders often overlook at their peril. Recruiting, succession planning, implementation of strategic plans, team functioning, sustainable success, competitive positions and organizational resilience are all dramatically impacted by culture.

While a strong organizational culture can be like a self cleaning oven, "poor fits" may also be an indication that the culture of the organization needs to be examined. As with all complex living things (and an organization is both complex and "alive") the greater the mindfulness in designing for the future the greater the likelihood for success. What are the attributes of the ideal culture that will enable your company to be successful in the near to mid term? How do you design this culture? What kind of people will create that kind of culture? How are they different from the kinds of people you have typically hired?

The 4 Levels of Life...

I was doing some research today and came across something I used a number of years ago with a client to help them appreciate some of the distinctions we were working towards. A very abbreviated summary holds that, as a basic framework, we can approach life/work/reality from a number of defined orientations. This notion is drawn from the Buddhist's 4 levels of life:

1. Judgment - seeing things and reacting to my world as if there is a right/wrong, good/bad in play.
2. Evaluation - orienting my world and life view so that I look for value. Simply, in what ways can what I'm viewing be utilized (how is it of value) and is what I'm about to do additive or generative (not good or bad but useful to myself and others).
3. Distinction - seeing and noticing life's events and content without judgment or evaluation.
4. Non-distinction - approaching all with a sense of unity and oneness - I and "it" are not separate.

It's our position that we are most effective at our business and work when we approach both from the dual orientations of evaluation and distinction. We also hold that this dual approach is one key to true sustainability (developing the capacity to continuously start over).

Workplace Coaching

Coaching is all the rage in many organizations around the world today. The prevailing thought is that by charging mangers with the responsibility to coach their people the organization will have both more effective workers and mangers that have developed a critical leadership skill. Unfortunately, the manager as a coach is an oxymoron.

Implications for Management
Managers (and for that matter leaders) can’t be effective coaches in the truest sense of the word “coach”. Excellent coaching requires an understanding and appreciation of the differences inherent in the two activities (management and coaching) that make them mutually incompatible. Coaching in its truest form is a process in which the coach and the client enter into a relationship that has the following attributes:

• Parity of roles – neither coach or client is superior or inferior in the relationship
• The client’s goals, objective and outcomes are paramount
• The process is client led not coach directed.

These attributes make it exceedingly difficult for a manager to be a true coach. When entering what is usually thought of as a coaching relationship most managers begin with an end point in mind – the improvement of an employee’s performance. The employee may or may not know that there is even a problem; or the manager may have misdiagnosed the problem – it could be a workload issue the manager isn’t addressing effectively. The net effect of the manager assuming a problem and beginning to coach to resolve the assumed problem is that the employee will often not be receptive to the process – after all, it’s not their goal it’s their managers! They may feel as if they are being told that something (them or something about them) is broken and needs to be fixed. They will often acquiesce to the process because their manager is their boss which makes it exceedingly unlikely that they will step up and lead the process. Essentially, there is a built in relational imbalance that negates one of the primary attributes of excellent coaching – parity of roles.

Implications for Employees
For the employees being “coached” by their manager the implications of this move to developing a manager/coach can (and often is) more problematic than it is beneficial. It is critical that the coached employee be aware of the fact that their manager very definitely has their own agenda. That agenda may be positively intended to improve the employee’s work experience but make no mistake – it is also intended to solve a problem that the manager/coach believes exists. The coaching, if successful, will benefit the manger as much or more as it does the coached employee.

While something that is potentially mutually beneficial may sound like a good idea mutual benefit is part of the coaching contract. The manager needs to own the fact that very often it is his/her benefit – more than the employee’s – that is being targeted by the coaching activity. To enter the processes without acknowledging this will very likely result in the coached employee legitimately deducing that there is some hidden agenda driving the offer of coaching. It will feel like being told “I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.” The questions of “who is being helped?” and “is the offer coming from someone qualified to actually do the coaching?” are germane and must be honestly explored.

Potential for Benefit
Assuming the manger is competent in the coaching domain and that both parties are clear about who is benefiting and in what ways there can be considerable upside potential for the employee being coached. They will benefit from a focused attention on their development; they will have an opportunity to exhibit improvement in ways that matter to their organization; they will learn new skills and competencies; they may experience a reduction in their stress levels through improved competence; they may ultimately get more of what they want in their work experience – both with their manager and with their actual employment. For this to occur however, the firm, the employee and the manager/coach need to be very clear that the dual role of manager/coach has built in limitations and dangers that need to be proactively voiced and attended to.

The Conversation is the Relationship...

I just finished working with a client's retail team. A major part of our work together focused on defining their vision for the future and on their current sense of identity - literally, the questions "who are we" and "where do we belong". It goes without saying that the level of emotional engagement exhibited by their people relative to both of these areas will be crucial to their utlimate success. Of course, the question is how to achieve high levels of emotional engagement.

One way is to create the space for an intentional conversation. A focused conversation that places people in relationship with both as well as with each other. It's our position that the conversation about the company's vision and about the team's identity needs to be structured so that it becomes the relationship rather than being about the relationship.

By making time for conversational exploration it becomes possible for the individual's voice to be heard; for their assumptions to be aired and vetted; for the ownership of the vision to begin to transfer, and for a common identity to be forged. In being allowed to have a voice we create the probability of emotional engagement. Simply put, it's impossible for me to be passionate about another's vision...I can only be passionate about mine. It's with my vision that I have a relationship. It's with my vision that I have ongoing conversations.

My dad is dying...

and, many friends have told the that the good news in knowing this is that we have ample opportunity to say goodbye.

I've thought a lot about that and, rather than making sure that the "goodbye" is handled well I'm actually being more mindful about insuring that our remaining "hello's" are paid attention to.

Hello. It's a simple word. It's an opening to a way of getting to know someone - even someone I've known literally all of my life. Hello is about connecting. Since finding out about dad's illness connecting has become very important.

Hello, tell me more about yourself; tell me more about how you've created this life for yourself; tell me about what's important to you. He's told me stories that I've never heard (and he's quite a story teller and has led a fascinating life). He's told me stories that have introduced him to me in a different way. Today, I appreciate him more; I appreciate his life more. Today, I more fully understand his decisions and appreciate more fully his fears.

Today isn't for goodbye's. Goodbye is about closure. That will come. Today, I want connection. Hello, let's talk well,  let's connect well - until it's time to say goodbye.

It's the connections...

Our lives are made up of connections. Connections with people, jobs and organizations as well as connections with all kinds of material things – our cars, houses, boats, clothes and other possessions. The most important of these connections is our connection with our self. It is not a stretch at all to say that the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our connections. We define ourselves through our connections.

It used to be that deep, sustained, rich connections developed because we were far more stationary. Not much changed; the pace of life was slower. Today, that’s not likely. In my adult life I’ve lived in four countries and in 10 cities in the U.S. on both coasts. Yesterday I was in phone and email conversations with friends and colleagues in Japan, Finland, China, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., Portland and here at home in Seattle. It can be hard work maintaining these connections. To do less jeopardizes the quality of my life.

Am I connected to my ideals? Are they connected to me? How do we create and maintain connections in today’s fast paced and rapidly changing world? The book “Women Connected: A Session-by-Session Coaching Guide for Women’s Groups” is an answer to these questions. It is written in a way that acknowledges that the quality of life is a function of the quality of one’s connections. It is written in a way that provides tools and resources designed to forge and enhance connections – with both my external world and my internal world. Pick it up today by going to www.womenconnected.com.

Superman naked...

I was working the other day with a group of people and we were exploring the nature of success. Specifically, we were considering the somatic implications of whether we as individuals and organizations have a "body" that can accept success when it appears. Success in any field comes with a significant amount of visibility - is our "body" comfortable being seen. Success requires an energy investment in terms of both generation and reception - is the "body" large enough for this. The "body" needs to be a container that can support success.

In the course of our exploring success it was mentioned that Superman was the only super hero that does not need to put on a costume to articulate his power. Indeed, he is the only super hero that purposely puts on a costume to hide his power. Taking this notion and applying it to many of our lives the "costume" is a metaphor for our personalities and the many habits we engage in daily that form our way of being in our lives. These become like a suit of clothes that hides our true power.

The challenge with having ideals to live into is that to do so is often thought of as something only the heroic can do. We often struggle with finding the right "suit" to put on that will empower us. The questions we need to be asking ourselves are not how we change our personalities or our habits. Rather, it is more useful to ask what purpose does this suit I’m currently wearing serve? What suit can I take off knowing that I can always put it back on again. What does taking this particular suit off make possible?

Too Many Balls to Juggle?

There is a lot going on in my life…where do I hold it all? How do I manage to keep what’s important to me alive and in focus when there are other things that are equally important and equally urgent? They all need attending to…they all require my active involvement.

In my body there is a lot going on…energy, tension, emotions. All of it attached to what else is going on. How do I sort through this so that I have access to all of my body, and all of my emotions, and all of my intellect when I need it.

Compartmentalizing. That’s one strategy – and it’s effective to a point. The challenge is to make the walls of the compartments porous. If they become rigid and impenetrable I will lose something important. I need the resources behind those walls for other things as well. I need all of the "me's" that are behind those walls.

I guess the question is less about having too many balls to juggle and more about making sure I know how to keep the walls porous. Keeping the walls porous – this will allow me to keep my life alive while juggling.

Truly, ideals in motion...

Today, dozens of Amish neighbors turned out to mourn the quiet milkman who killed five of their young girls and wounded five more in a brief, unfathomable rampage.

Rather than condem and vow revenge these remarkable people did the most difficult thing of all...they lived their ideals of forgiveness and love.

Passion Leading to Performance...

What is it about how I view myself and my place in life that empowers the reasons and stories in my life? Especially the ones I use to explain and justify why I don't have what I say I want?

What am I passionate about? This is my identity. It is my "ideal" life. It is the life born from the imago cells of my core (“imago” is the word used for the final & perfect stage of an insect after metamorphosis, e.g. a butterfly) that define who I am and where I belong.

Give me a reason why you weren't able to accomplish something and I'll find for you someone, somewhere, who could accomplish what you didn't. It's not the reason that holds me back. It's the reason's expression as an artifact of something more fundamental. What is it about how I see myself - how I see my place in life - that validates the reason?

Taken as simply one example of the myriad content pieces of my life the reason is given meaning and relevance by the context that frames it. This context is my sense of identity.

The significance of this is that everyone is in some way passionate about their sense of identity. I can't not be. This passion leads to very specific performance characteristics and, eventually, to the result that is my life.

What am I passionate about?

Avoiding Perfection

As a manager, one of the more typical causes of problems encountered is the all too common human desire to be perfect or to perform perfectly. Defaulting to this desire to be and do perfect will encumber the manager, their direct reports, and the organization. It’s our position that the manager is far better off (and far more effective) focusing on striving for doing and being excellent in their performance rather than perfect. There is more than just a semantic difference between the words perfect and excellent – there is also an energetically experienced difference that can either compel greater performance or stop it altogether.

When striving for perfection there is no room for error. The outcome is black or white. The performance, project, result or objective was either delivered according to specification or it wasn’t. Significantly, none of the traditional measures of perfection will typically include the question “does it work or not” as a major consideration. Rather, the question is implied on the front end and it is then assumed that what we are doing will work if it is perfect. The focus becomes perfection of design or process and not workability.

Functionally speaking, excellence refers to workability. Something is excellent when it performs (it works) in a way that creates minimal unintended consequences. It’s not perfect, yet is functions extremely well – it gets the job done. 

The advantage to focusing on excellence is that it keeps the action moving forward – a major concern in most organizations. Essentially, what we are doing is creating an environment for our people to live into their outcome rather than live up to an arbitrary standard of what the elements creating that outcome should be. As a manager it is useful to be familiar with some of the qualitative differences between these two performance standards. 

Perfection has some extremely strong dynamics associated with it. Some are so strong that they can literally shift the focus away from performance and can stop movement altogether. Chief amongst these are the following:

o Focus on protection of a valued self image where there is no room for error

o A lifestyle that operates out of fear (i.e., not being good enough, not measuring up, being “found out”, etc.)

o Major risks are either avoided or highly calculated

o Obsession with a need to control and be “right”

o Critical judgment of self and others

o Scarcity of choices … do it by “the book” or do it “my way and to my standards”

o Focus on protecting what I’ve already got – playing not to lose vs. playing to win

o Focus on mechanism vs. creativity (although creativity is often given as the rationale)

o Primarily concerned about “looking good” … a “me” focus

o Single minded focus on the outcome only (is it perfect)

o Classic win/lose approach to relationships (i.e., “I’m right and you’re wrong”)

As an alternative, a focus on excellence is seen as having the following attributes:

o Willingness (even a desire) to learn from mistakes. Mistakes, while maybe not welcome, are also not seen as something to be avoided…they are recognized as part of the learning process

o Action based on excitement, energy, fun, enthusiasm

o Willingness to take challenging risks

o People operate from clarity of purpose and empowerment

o Readily operating from acceptance and appreciation of differences

o Utilizing creativity and acknowledging the abundance of choice

o Dual focus on the journey as well as the results (“how” we do is as important as “what” we do)

o Concern for the greater good … an inclusionary “we” focus

o Establishes win/win based outcomes

The question for the manager is which of the two approaches is likely to be more generative? It is our position that anything the manager can do to encourage an excellence based approach to work, to the organization’s movement toward its outcomes and to living in general will ultimately produce results faster and results that are far more sustainable and welcome. For a manager to be able to draw their organization’s attention to the differences between the two approaches opens the door to far richer conversations and performance than may otherwise be possible.

A universal question...

I was recently asked by a client how realistic it was to expect to be able to influence a change in the culturally tolerated behavior of others in their company - particularly the type of behavior that was considered reactive and demeaning. Behavior that was counter to an ideal that had been identified as being desired.

It's a great question because it's a universal question. We all at some time have wanted to - let's be honest - change what we perceive as the "negative" behavior of others. Can it be done? Because behavior is learned I hold that the answer is "yes". Is it easy? Not a chance.

The Arbinger Institute's book "Leadership and Self-Deception" speaks about a phenomenon that they call being "in the box". The short version is that when I am "in the box" of my own beliefs and assumptions I am unable to notice alternative ways of responding and behaving in the world. By being "in the box" I am also unable to move in a way that can encourage or enable others to get out of their own boxes. If I am able to get out of my box I have greater resources (choices) available to me and can respond differently than I may otherwise have done. The great advantage is that, when considered in light of systems theory, a simple and sustained move out of my box requires the sysytem of which I am a part to shift to accomodate my new behaviors. This is due to the simple fact that systems will always seek stasis or balance (think of a mobile - when one part of the mobile moves all other parts must then move).

In this way, one individual getting out of their box begins a process of impacting a whole system that is made up of individuals. The other individuals may never get out of their boxes but the way they behave is impacted. I influence - change - other's behavior by being aware and by using my increased awareness to model the change I want to create. In Gandhi's words, I must first become the change I want to produce in the world. What could be more ideal?

Life in the stew...

I've just returned again from China. I am continuously amazed by how similar disparate people really are. I've lived in Japan, Australia, Europe and the east coast, the south, the middle and the west coasts of America. I've worked on every continent except Antarctica. As the peoples and economies of the world become more inter-dependent and as communication becomes more instantaneous we as a species can no longer afford the luxury of holding onto beliefs that we are different from one another. The economic policies as well as the politics and religious dogmas that espouse exclusion, that foster illusions of being "chosen" in some fashion prevent us from recognizing our similarities. If I am continuously sorting for differences I will never recognize (or be able to capitalize on) our similarities. I'm afraid that we as a "civilized" and "advanced" species are doomed to continue fueling an accelerating rush to a suffocating stagnation unless we can begin leading with our ideals.

I'm intersted in what would happen if God could raise his or her voice loudly enough (or perhaps soften it enough?) to be heard and asked humankind a simple question - "What do you want?"

I doubt if the answers returned would be "I want to live a life of fear", "I want to hate my neighbor", "I want to live a life dominated by another", "I want to feel inadequate", "I want to hate", or "I want to be reviled and hated". Experiences I've had during almost three decades of travel and living around the world suggest to me that exactly the opposite answers would be given.

Our ideals are universal; they are shared and connect rather than separate us. We as a species need to select leaders that honor this fact; we as individuals can't afford to live our lives in denial of this truth.

A great question to end each day with is to ask myself how each person I encountered today felt about themselves while they were in my presence. As a practice, living my life so as to answer this question in a way I can be proud of can begin the process of truly living my ideals.

"First, say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do."

This quote from Epictetus speaks to the need to develop practices that will enable me to embody a certain way of being.

I just returned from the School Of Embodied Leadership (SOEL) - a six day program focused on developing the capacity to truly embody leadership. The program was presented by Dr. Richard Strozzi-Heckler, founder of the Strozzi Institute and the discipline of Somatic Coaching. A major thrust of the program revolves around the development of what Strozzi-Heckler calls "practices". These are activities that support and literally enable being the kind of leader, the kind of person, that produces the results we want in life - for ourselves and others. Practices are the activities in which I regularly and mindfully engage that over time develop into unconscious habits. The significance of this is that it is my habits that form and inform my leadership "body".

The old addage "practice makes perfect" is actually a bit off base. The truth is that "practice makes habits"! With a bit of thought and a lot of discipline it is these practices - these activities that allow me to habitually keep my ideals in motion.

What's in a name?

When it is consciously evoked such things as identity, relationship, place, and possibly even sentience.

Who we are is defined not just by our sense of self. It's a function of how we are known by others and how we come to identify ourselves - our place - within the networks of others with whom we live. This is why some recent research data about dolphins is so interesting.

The new research expands on previous knowledge long known to scientists that dolphins' whistle calls include repeated information thought to be their names. CNN reports that the new research indicates that "bottlenose dolphins can call each other by name when they whistle, making them the only animals besides humans known to recognize such identity information." Even more compelling, Laela Sayigh, one of three authors of a paper published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences says that two dolphins may refer to a third by the third animal's name. They know themselves, they know their place in the relationship network of which they are a member. We are not the only self-aware animals on the planet. Similar information has long been known of primates - although not to this extent. Some chimps have learned very extensive vocabularies and can communicate quite consciously with humans using hand signals. The ability of another species to consciously reference another within the context of self is critically important to us as a species.

Our ideals as a species are too often predicated on an assumption that we are the uber species on the planet. We view the world through this filter of dominance and infallablity. We act on the environment with impunity, we interact with other species as if our lives were the only lives that mattered. It is worth considering that any particular culture can only be understood by someone outside of it - a neutral observer, unaffected by prejudice or belief. In a wonderful book I read years ago (Ishmael by Daniel Quinn), the reader is able to see our culture through the eyes of just such an observer. In order to be sustainable my ideals - our ideals - need to be seen through many eyes. What's in a name? Perhaps our future.

Keeping our bearings...

I was recently sitting by a swimming pool in Maui where I was on a working holiday with my family. It was about 10:00 at night, the stars were out and a gentle trade wind was blowing. I had earlier been on the beach well after a spectacular sunset and had marveled at the clarity and abundance of the stars that were in the evening sky. As I sat by that pool I again looked up. The stars I saw on the beach were dimmed, and in some instances not visible at all. Of course, the stars were all still present. All that had changed was that I was attempting to view them through the ambient light coming from the pool deck and the pool itself. If I was a sailor attempting to use the stars to guide my way this ambient light could be a real problem.

This struck me as a wonderful metaphor for our busy lives today. When and how does the ambient life of our lives prevent us from seeing what we need to see in order to keep our lives on course? Are we even aware of when we are blinded by the ambient light in our lives? More importantly, what practices have we developed to allow us to step away from the ambient light in our lives – practices that enable us to see our stars in order to make sure we are, more or less, on course?

Raising the kids, balance between work and family, money worries, next quarter’s results, fears of disappointing someone significant. These are only some examples of what could be deemed the ambient light of life. These things aren’t going to go away and we put our ideals at considerable risk when are blinded by the unique “ambient light” that makes up much of our worldview. Being able to mindfully step away from (not leave behind) the ambient light in our lives in order to better see our guiding stars is a practice well worth developing. Quieting the internal voice that forces attention to the ambient light is a very useful way to approach this notion. I use a variety of meditation practices – sitting, walking, running – to quiet the voices of my ambient light in order to keep the stars of my ideals in view. Developing this practice is not easy – there have been many false starts. Knowing what keeping my ideals in view makes possible is the “for the sake of what?” that enables me to sustain the practice.

For the sake of what do your ideals exist? What practice(s) have you developed or could you develop that helps you keep your bearings as you move through the enormous complexities of modern life – the ambient life that keeps what’s truly important in view?

Prelude to Opportunity...

Often times I am asked by leaders I am coaching how to reconcile apparent conflicts between the values and ideals of their company and apparent and intransigent market realities. Rather than have these seeming conflicts be experienced as an either/or dilemma there is another alternative.

I was speaking with a client today who related an incident where an emerging conflict of values with one of their clients resulted in something other than a breakdown. One of the core values of my client's firm is environmental sustainability. A new client of theirs was asking them to assist with the development of a new product that would result in an enormous use of oil to transport critical raw material used in the product. Because of concerns about environmental impact (contributing to global warming through the burning of huge amounts of oil in transportation) the initial reaction of the project manager at my client's firm was to tell their new client that the firm wouldn't be able to work with them on this project. The dilemma this posed is that their client would likely retain another firm to do the work, my client's company would lose a significant amount of revenue as well as likely lose the client for other projects, and they would not have any positive movement toward one of their ideals of helping create environmentally sustainable business practices.

The solution as it was related to me was my client requesting that his project manager go back to the client and invite a conversation to explore alternative ways of developing the product that would not involve the use of this particular raw material (which is a definite but not obvious option). This would negate the need for oceanic shipping and would thereby provide this developing product with a new and previously unrecognized niche with "green" consumers. Rather than the value (sustainability) linked to the realization of of an ideal (environmental responsibility) being the source of polarization and breakdown it becomes the catalyst for exploring new ways of working together and of developing a uniquely new product.

Leaders cause movement. Effective leaders use values as one of the core mechanisms for doing this. A seeming conflict with a company's espoused values in the face of market "realities" can be used as a prelude to opportunity - the opportunity to keep the organization's ideals moving and an opportunity to challenge people to live into the ideals that we say are important to us.

Aboard Air Force One

The current rhetoric about making the world safe for democracy is a wonderful ideal. And, in order to move toward an ideal it seems useful to take some time for an introspective assessment of why this ideal is important - to myself as well as to those likely to be impacted. Without the benefit of an inward look I set myself up to be, at best, driven by my ego and, at the worst, influenced by others in ways in which I have no awareness (see my posting of Feb. 01).

This is what is so telling and so disturbing about President Bush saying aboard Air Force One on June 4, 2003: "I'm also not very analytical. You know, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."

So, what's the purpose again?

What's so important about knowing your purpose in life? Maybe the following examples will help clarify this:

• Imagine that you're playing golf. What's the purpose of golf? If you say to put the ball in the hole you'd be wrong. If that was the purpose the game could be over fairly quickly. No, putting the ball in the hole is one of the goals of golf - as is grooving your swing, breaking par or beating your partners. Goals are not the same as a purpose. So, what's the purpose of golf?
  
• Imagine that you're an archer. What's the purpose of archery? If you say to hit the bullseye with the arrow you would again be wrong. If that was the purpose of archery why would one stand so far away from the target? Again, hitting the bullseye is one of the goals of archery but it is NOT the purpose of archery. So, what's the purpose of archery?
  
• Imagine that you're given a life to live. What's the purpose of that life? If you say it is to make money (or be successful, or be a doctor, etc.) you'd be wrong one more time. If that was the purpose of life there would be far more people on the planet with money than without - just the opposite of what we have today. Making money is a goal one can have in life but it is not the purpose of a life. So, what's the purpose of life?

What is it that gives the goals we set meaning? What is it that keep me coming back again and again? What is it that makes it possible for even the smallest of acts to bring joy and fulfillment?

Purpose is not a goal to be achieved. Purpose is not provided by the "rules" of the game. Purpose is created by thoughtful individuals living with and asking the question "for the sake of what" am I pursuing this goal? Purpose is what the attainment of a goal may eventually make possible. Purpose is what I greet the dawn with each day. Without it my life has no meaning. With it all is possible - and any of what I have is fulfilling. What's the purpose of your life?

What a strange machine man is!

You fill him with bread, wine, fish and radishes, and out of him come sighs, laughter and dreams.  - Nikos Kazantzakis

A life isn't about what it's about...

it's about how it's about it.

Shooting our children should be a wake up call…

When a society loses connection with its ideals crazy and tragic events begin to occur. Fear can be seen as the root cause of losing connection with what matters in life. The recent shooting of 15 year old Christopher Penley in Longwood Florida is a case in point. This tragic event was the direct result of fear being the dominant emotion in much of our public discourse today. Fear permeates our conversations, is the staple of the Bush Administration’s pronouncements and decisions, and fuels the evening newscasts. As a people, we have become fearful of other nations, other religions, other lifestyles, the intent of our elected leaders and, it seems, even fearful of our children. We are fearful of globalization, declines in the stock market, bubbles bursting and our lives changing.

When fear replaces love, hope and appreciation all motion stops. Fear is a contracting emotion. Fear is the reason we lose connection with our ideals. Fear makes it oh so easy to lose our focus on what we say matters in our life. In the United States we founded a country on an ideal that espoused life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We have enshrined ideals spoken by leaders past – Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream…” and Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address – as worthy of aspiration, worthy of sacrifice. Yet today we take the easy road. In a very real sense, for many people it is much easier to talk about our ideals than it is to live them. It's much easier to believe that those "in charge" will protect us. When we surrender our freedoms and our ideals to fear, when we abdicate our responsibility to do what it takes to live free of fear in an uncertain world, we have truly become immobile.

A Place of Awakening...

When I think of ideals in motion I'm struck by how easy it is to lose momentum. Life happens, comfort develops, societal expectations take hold and I look up one day and find I'm living a life that I hadn't planned for. My dreams – my ideals – have gone into hibernation. The voice of reason has sung them to sleep.

Deep in the martial art traditions of Japan there is a concept called bodhimanda. It's from this concept that the idea of a dojo – a place of practice – was born. All martial artists practice in a dojo. It's a place to be a learner; it's a place to practice to mastery; it's a place that connects the "artist" to the ideal of the particular martial art being practiced. The concept of bodhimanda imbues the dojo with a meaning that makes it a special place in which to practice. Bodhimanda is a Sanskrit word that means, literally, a place where we come together to wake up.

Do I have a place in my life that challenges me to "wake up" my ideals? In our organizations do we have a place that keeps us awake and cognizant of the organization's ideals? What would be such a place? It's possible that mindful and intentional conversation could be the bodhimanda of the organization. Conversations that challenge us; that jolt us to awaken to the ideals we came together to realize.

Disappointment

The judgment that often accompanies the comparison between actual and ideal is the great limiter on my aspirations for a fulfilling life. How so? One of the precepts I hold about ideals in motion is that I can only generally know what my ideal life is or will be. Too much detail, too many parameters, blocks the creative movement. Life is an open system. To impose all kinds of definitions on what is to be closes the system. Closes it to spontaneity, closes it to new opportunities. The limiter is that closed systems are, by their very nature, dying systems. My ideals need to be open to the juices of newness if I am going to keep them alive and moving. I need to be able to use my disappointment to keep my ideals in motion.

The use of disappointment as a tool for movement rather than a hammer for driving home the point of failure is a powerful reframe. When I experience disappointment (because I either let myself down or was let down by another) what is the self talk, what are the bodily sensations? For many, disappointment means I (or someone) failed to live up to an expectation. When I’m moving into new territory I will fail more often than not – even though I think I should know better!

The question that can often be triggered by disappointment is how have I not lived up to that ideal I had set for myself? This is a much different question than how did I not live into that ideal. The difference is in the learning the question makes possible. The difference is qualitative. Living “up to” implies there is no room for variance from a standard. The system is closed to alternatives. Living “into” makes room for different approaches, for different learning. The system is open to exploration and new possibilities may emerge. The ideal is kept in motion although its form has likely changed.

 

At Tsinghua University

I just returned from Beijing where I was invited by Tsinghua University (one of the top universites in China) to conduct four days of lecture/training on "Enterprise Leadership" for a group of 65 Chinese CEOs. They came eager to learn and not quite sure what to expect. They had been told the experience would be different from the traditional programs they had attended in the past – and therein lay a potential problem. When one enters a learning situation with the expectation that the learning that is available is dependant on some thing, some process, being different the responsibility for the learning has shifted. The shift moves the responsibility from the learner to the process (or the teacher). By focusing on either the process or the teacher as the vehicle for the learning it is far too easy to miss the lessons available. What seems to occur in such situations is the learner enters an observational space where the intent is to critique the process – how is it different and is that difference enough to stimulate new learning. Being an observational learner dramatically diminishes the potential learning that can be taken from any event.

As a writer I notice that there are times when the experience of writing can be like being in the position of the “observational learner”. When I write presupposing I need the “right” time, place or subject matter the process is difficult and it’s usually not pleasurable. Additionally, what I produce is often disappointing. The experience of disappointment is interesting because it presupposes a defined end product that wasn’t matched by the actual output. In simple terms, the writing is not ideal. And my disappointment is like the canary in the mine pointing out the potential danger.