When coaching my clients one of the things I pay particular attention to is their perception of what's going on around them. I long ago learned that this is singularly the most important domain on which to focus if they want to achieve the kinds of change that they strive for. Now, before you roll your eyes and think "duh", stop for a moment and check your understanding of just what perception is.
Here's a simple way to think of perception: How I describe something to myself determines how I feel about it; how I feel about it strongly influence how I behave towards it. Here's a recounting of a fascinating experiment that exemplifies this phenomenon: We do not see with our eyes. We see with our brains.
Perception is the description part of this process. What goes into your descriptions of the events in your world? For many, much of what comprises our description filters are not in our conscious awareness. Our descriptions are, for the most part, unexamined. The problem this causes is that we often spend an inordinate amount of energy focusing on changing behavior. As anyone who has tried to change the behavior of another can attest, this is a fool's errand. We would be far better served focusing on becoming more aware of our "description bias" and finding ways to change the elements of how we describe our world that no longer serve us.
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