How does this work?

More accurately, why does it seem so difficult to do something that is supposed to make my life easier? I’m exploring bringing in an assistant. Someone to help me reduce the administrivia that’s all around me. I’ve had assistants before and it’s almost always required more effort ensuring that they knew what to do, where to find what was required and, more importantly, that the quality was what I needed. 

I was imagining having an assistant and noticed how uncomfortable the notion felt in my body. I felt encumbered and clumsy. It was almost like wearing an oversized pair of clown shoes where I had to be very deliberate and attentive lest I trip as I moved forward. Progress was definitely slower in my mind’s eye. 

Intellecutually, I fully understand the value of having an assistant. Realistically, I do need one if I’m going to be as effective as I want to be. And that I believe is my key. The “for the sake of what” needs to be more compelling than simply handling the administrivia. That’s not a “big” enough reason. If that is my focus I will never be comfortable with an assistant. In order to grow into the clown shoes my purpose – my "for the sake of what" – must be much larger. It must be large enough to allow me to fill the shoes and wear them with comfort. Literally, because ideals are big it takes a big person to fully inhabit the shoes worn by one living their ideals. That’s how it works!