Ideals in Motion

What are ideals in motion?

I was talking to my wife the other night and we were discussing a chapter in her new book Women Connected. The chapter deals with ideals in motion and we were exploring how best to describe what is meant by the term. Here’s my way of thinking about this…

Each of us has a purpose in our life – some way of identifying our existence that gives life meaning. This purpose is fundamentally different than dreams and aspirations. It is the essential core of identity. It is that which I can’t not be. I can spend quite some time clarifying and defining what this purpose is. Some individuals may never have words to capture it but they do have a sense of what their life is about. Others may actually be able to arrive at a succinct definition that, for them, captures the essence of why they exist. Still others may never consciously spend time with the question and never have a sense of it in their lifetime – “I am an accident and life is meaningless.”

Because it gives my life meaning, this personal purpose is inherently positive, life affirming, and broad enough to encompass the entirety of my life. And, it is deep enough to provide a solid foundation that can be drawn upon in times of uncertainty. As a consequence, my defined or felt purpose in life will likely be somewhat abstract and a bit amorphous. For example, my purpose as I define it is to be a catalyst for transformation - a statement that is pretty broad in its implications.

This purpose wasn’t given to me from on high. I defined it. All well and good – after all, who can dispute it? The test for me comes when I question how my defined purpose serves me in my life. How does it determine what goals I find meaningful? How does it impact my choices and experiences of life as I move toward these goals? How does it impact others? What is the meaning of life that this purpose makes possible for me? To what resources does it provide me access?

Questions cause movement. These questions are the test bed for an ideal life that, when answered, inform and propel my ideals into motion. The common theme of each of the questions is in the focus each has on creating unique experiences – how I experience relevance with the goals in my life; experience congruency in my choices; experience integrity in my relationships with others; experience meaning in life; experience utility in and with internal resources.

When my ideals are in motion – when a company’s or team’s ideals are in motion – there is inherent meaning, alignment and congruence created. The experience of living, of moving, is fulfilling regardless of whether the goal that I was striving for is achieved or not. It is fulfilling because it is not goal dependent. The goals are ultimately only symbols of experiences for which I am striving. Experiences that validate the who that I am.

Ideals and standards…

What do I settle for? What are my standards? How do they impact my ideals?

I was at a jazz club last night to see and hear two time Grammy award winner Diane Schuur. As she began her set she suddenly stopped the entire show. “There’s not enough reverb” she called out to the fellow running the mixing board. Now, I couldn’t tell you whether there was or wasn’t enough reverb – and I doubt seriously if 99% of the remainder of the audience could either. Any adjustments that were made were all but inaudible to me. The point is…she knew…and she wasn’t willing to go forward until the sound mix was up to her standards.

When I speak of ideals in motion there is an implied standard – something to be lived into. Ms. Schuur’s willingness to stop the show and work with the sound mix until that standard was met is enlightening. Most people who experience success AND fulfillment in their lives have a set of standards that are used as guidelines. Fall short of the standard and, even though the goal may be obtained, the experience is less than fulfilling. No one else even needs to be aware of the “shortfall”. They are my standards and the more intimate I am with my ideals the more discriminating the standards will be. So too will be my willingness to keep moving until the standards that represent my ideals are met.

The paradox of “stopping the show” in service of moving toward a more ideal performance is interesting to note. All too often we will continue moving with the rational that what I’m doing is “good enough” to get by. Only by having standards that I continuously and rigorously live into can I begin to experience more of the ideal that my life can be.

On the River Luh in Russia…

The light flickered off of the red tarp that was keeping the rain at bay. The tarp was supported by a rainbow of oars we’d been using on the rafts today. The lantern’s light bounced most brightly off of the yellow oar which served to highlight the blue and green colors of the other two oars that were also serving as trusses to our makeshift shelter. Thunder boomed and lightening danced on the near horizon. Dinner had been eaten and the campfire was burning as brightly as the drinks of vodka we’d just had. Alexi and Sasha were taking turns with the guitar. Each with songs to sing. Songs sung in Russian. Songs older than any of us sitting around the fire. Songs connecting today with the ideals valued in the Russian “spirit”.

The environment is so important to the experience of my ideals. It can appear spontaneously like it did that evening on the River Luh. And, if we are paying attention, we can have a hand in mindfully creating an environment that supports our ideals.

When we speak of being centered we often don’t take into account the impact we have on our environment. We most often center as a way of responding and adapting to our environment. We can also center our environment. Center it so that it too supports who we are and how we are.

The guitar on the river was not an accidental occurrence. With this group it was an intentionally included part of the equipment necessary for the success of the trip. It was as necessary as the tarp, the oars and the raft. It was included to help shape the environment to more ideally support the experience of coming together as a team.

I’m picking up my boat tomorrow.

How this applies to ideals in motion I’m not so sure. I do know that I’ve wanted a boat for sometime now. I’ve been talking about it to and with others, I’ve been describing it, I’ve had brochures lying about, and I’ve had a reminder to “buy boat” on my Outlook screen for a couple of months now. In the context of my meditation practice, I’ve been “breathing out” boat for some time. Tomorrow, I will “breathe in” a boat.

Now, lest one begin to think that all I had to do was focus on wanting a boat and it would eventually and magically appear I want to add a couple of other items into this mix. Putting ideals in motion requires action – this is not a passive process. For me, there has been much going on than just talking, picturing and hoping for this boat. The boat is just a thing – a symbol if you will. It’s a thing that has the potential to make possible certain experiences – relaxation, adventure, time with my wife, time with my family, special time with my grandson and escape from routine. Being clear about the experience is often more important than clearly wanting the thing. Let me say that again…being clear about the experience is often more important than clearly wanting the thing. The ideal that is tapped is rooted in experience; the ideal that is kept in motion is often symbolized by the thing that may make the experience(s) possible. Making a clear distinction between the symbol and the experience is important.

A consequence of ideals in motion being defined and expressed (at least in part) by desired experience is the possibility of the motion being triggered by another person. I live in a web of relationships. When my ideals are expressed into that web it may (and often does) cause someone to act on my behalf. In this case, my wife knew, appreciated and shared the desire for many of the same experiences (interesting how this works – more later on complimentary and reinforcing relationships). She initiated a call to the dealer that was a simple inquiry into the advantages of acting now or waiting until a future boat show. Her acting on my behalf was made possible by my “breathing out’ the ideal – making it visible to my web of relationships. The “breathing in” – the realization of the boat – was made possible by my being open and willing to accept her actions.

I’m picking up my boat tomorrow!

Where to start today?

Where to start today?

Often, just asking the question provides the beginning. It’s like asking “what most needs addressing in my life at this moment?” Today, the start is with the question. As I consider life in the context of it being “ideals in Motion” I’m struck by the fact that it is a process of continuous starting. Today, this hour, this minute, is a new beginning. There is no perpetual motion machine at work. At each moment I make a choice to “start”. At each moment It become possible to have my ideals be in motion.

This is a powerful way of looking at and experiencing the world. There is incredible freedom inherent in this. At each moment I get to choose. I am not a victim or captive to my preceding choices. Taken together my previous choices do provide what comes to be experienced as the coherence of my life. Taken as a seamless whole my choices provide and inform the current trajectory and content of my life. And, I can change it all when I “start”.

To live an unexamined life is, as Socrates suggests, a tragedy because it robs one of the experience of starting. There is freshness, newness, promise, and a wonderful potential in the concept of “start”. To start implies hope. To start brings challenge to my living. To start brings the wonder of a beginner to my life. To start suggests direction; direction suggests focus; focus suggests destination or an end point. I don’t have a start absent an end. And, this isn’t to say I will be clear about the end – its form or its substance. Many won’t truly start because they think the end needs to be clearly defined. They will default to a “groundhog day” life by giving no thought at the start of where they may ideally go. My life is an infinite number of starts. Which of my ideals will start to be brought to life?

Where to start today?

There is nobody and nothing out there but me.

Looking at the world through that filter is quite powerful. It makes no room for me to do anything but look at and increase my awareness of what I’m setting in motion. My thoughts, my deeds, my smallest actions are what I see made manifest in my world. If I’m not liking (or even if I am liking) my life and its experiences it’s very useful to hold onto the notion that it is my life and I am creating it moment by moment.

This is anything but narcissistic or magical thinking. It is an exquisitely elegant way to embrace life. Doing so eliminates blame, resentment and even anger. Anger is an interesting way to explore the implications of this notion. Let’s assume that anger is a “secondary” emotion that is experienced as the consequence of feeling I have no control in a situation (or am powerless to change a situation). By embracing the idea that there is nothing out there but me I now have a basis by which I can address the experience of powerlessness. This positioning allows me to experience an unpleasant event as nothing more that the consequence of something I’ve put out into the world – most likely the way I perceive the world. Now, this doesn’t mean I can change what is. It also doesn’t mean I control what other do. It will still be unpleasant! However, experiencing something as unpleasant is not the same as being angry about its occurrence.

Why is this important? One of the major consequences of anger is a diminishing of resourcefulness. I rail against the unfairness and unjustness; I strike out in retribution and retaliation; I become paralyzed into inaction. I am not in a position to be creative, to learn and, ultimately, I end up in a non-generative spiral. I want to have my life and my experience of life be “ideal”. I set it in motion. And, only I can shift its trajectory and direction. When I can get to this point of acceptance life works.

There is nobody and nothing out there but me.

Lifestyle

Lifestyle. This is what ideals in motion impacts. It’s about my way of living as much or more than it is about what I have in my life. My lifestyle is, in one way, a reflection of what my ideals in motion actually are at a given point in time.

Lifestyle…how is my life structured; what conversations do I have; with whom do I have these conversations; who are the dominant participants in my life? Where do I spend my time (literally – where?); what do I spend my time on; how do I fill my time; for the sake of what is my life’s energy being expended? All of these elements are core building blocks of ideals in motion. The question that is created by this aggregation of question is one that asks “are the ideals in motion truly the ideals in motion that reflect the life I want to live?” Or, do they remain only ideals in my head – dreams of some day?

In order for my ideals to be in motion they must be IN MOTION! If I’m a man that is extending into the world, if I’m a man that is making compelling and elegant connections, then my actions – all of them – must be reflected in my overall lifestyle. Change, often profound change, must accompany a decision to put my ideals into motion.

Growth occurs not with the clarification of one’s ideals. Nor does it occur with the decision to live them. Change occurs incrementally – and often with significant discomfort – when I start making changes to my current lifestyle. A decision to meditate for 30 minutes each morning means more than just doing it if I want to sustain the practice. My existing lifestyle will need to be restructured to open the space for the meditation. I will need to go to bed earlier as an example. To be healthy and vibrant will require cultivating relationships with people that are conducive to this happening. I may have to make different choices about who I hang out with. This is true if I introduce any new practice that is about putting an ideal into motion. My current lifestyle must be taken into account and changed where required. This is the vetting process – am I serious about having my life be ideal?